Pride Month: From Tolerance to Affirmation

 

To all LGBTQIA+ identifying individuals HAPPY PRIDE MONTH! This is a month to celebrate the strength and love of the queer community. Pride month can be riddled with complications, from corporations putting rainbow stickers on their logos but not actually supporting any LGBTQ+ organizations or individuals with their time or money, to protests at pride from those who don't believe in basic human rights for all people. 

In a counseling setting, it is incredibly important to find a provider who is not only tolerant of your identity and orientation, but affirming. I see many counselors and mental health providers touting that they are tolerant of their LGBTQ+ clients thinking it is a positive stance to sit in a neutral zone; not actively opposing LGBTQ+ rights and interests, and not actively advocating for equal treatment and rights. In short, tolerance sounds a lot like this:

"I work with clients even if they are gay"

"You can talk about your partner if you need to"

"I love you even though you're trans"

These statements add a condition and make it seem like someone is bending the rules for you.

"You can come even though you weren't invited"--there is a sense of allowance, an implicit sense that part of you is not welcome in that space or with that person. When I think about the word "tolerance", I think about tolerating things that I don't like; allowing my brother to watch his favorite TV show even though I hate it or dealing with taking my medicine even though it tastes bad. You, and all people, deserve more than to be tolerated.

You deserve to be accepted, affirmed, and ultimately, celebrated. 

All of you is welcome here. The beautiful parts you love to share, and the parts that feel scary to open up; the facets of yourself that you've had to hide and the facets that you've worn as a protective mask. All of you is valuable, worthy, and deserving of love, respect, and kindness. 

My hope this June and beyond is that there would be more affirmation of our LGBTQIA+ community. 

That proper pronouns would be used.

That gender neutral bathrooms continue to become more common and increase access to a basic human function for so many people.

That gender affirming care would be accessible.

That hateful words and actions would dissipate without support and be drowned out by the fervent love so bravely displayed by generations of LGBT+ people and echoed throughout history. 

I'm wishing a happy, safe, and beautiful pride experience for you all.